Clapton Fuckwits

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Clapton Fuckwits

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125 Layla Road, Clapton

Industry: Athletic Entertainment

Entity type: For-profit

Product: Sportsball, professional

Home Attendance: 634,800/AU

Revenue (CRRS): D

Ticket Price: 0.21μ

Personnel:

  • 20 active athletes
  • 16 standby athletes

The Clapton Fuckwits is a professional major-league sportsball club based in Clapton, affiliated with the National Sportsball League (NSBL).

The Fuckwits were a relative latecomer among the mainstream large teams of the NSBL, having been established in the wake of the departure of the Nutters from Clapton in favor of a lucrative unfulfilled sportsball market in Miles Davis. The Nutters and the Fuckwits now enjoy a spirited rivalry fueled by a fanbase that bitterly remembers the abandonment they felt at the hands of the Nutters in early NSBL history.

The Fuckwits is a for-profit corporation and owns the team's own 80,000-seat Witless Stadium at 125 Layla Road in Clapton. Witless Stadium is an outdoor facility with structures for providing filtering of direct sunlight, which is plentiful in Clapton's southwestern coastal climate.

The 20 active athletes employed by the Fuckwits earn a salary of 530μ/AU while the club's 16 standby athletes earn about 105μ/AU. The club earns revenue from ticket sales, broadcast rights, merchandise, and concessions sales. Annual home attendance figures average 634,800/AU.

The team's mascot is Witty the Fuckwit.