Harmony Cuntmuffins

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The Harmony Cuntmuffins

Harmony Cuntmuffins Logo.png

74 Trapezoid Street, Harmony

Industry: Athletic Entertainment

Entity type: For-profit

Product: Sportsball, professional

Home Attendance: 1,955,000/AU

Revenue: 708,500μ/AU

Ticket Price: 0.23μ

Personnel:

  • 55 active athletes
  • 50 standby athletes

The Harmony Cuntmuffins is a professional major-league sportsball club based in Harmony, affiliated with the National Sportsball League.

The Cuntmuffins is a for-profit corporation and owner of the 170,000-seat Cuntmuffin Stadium at 74 Trapezoid Street. Cuntmuffin Stadium is a hybrid indoor/outdoor facility with an outdoor field with provisions for overhead protection from weather along with semi-protected spectator seating. Cuntmuffin Stadium hosts an average of 16 home games per season.

The Cuntmuffins employs the athletic talent of 105 total athletes—a rather full roster compared to Illuminatia's leading sportsball teams. 55 athletes serve as active players during the season and an additional 50 athletes serve on a standby basis. Active Cuntmuffins athletes earn a salary of 610μ/AU while standby athletes earn about 150μ/AU.

The Cuntmuffins enjoy a schedule heavy on three-sided games, many of which are played by the team's "B"-team active athletes in addition to standbys. The team attracts spectators by slightly discounting the 0.23μ ticket price for these non-headliner games. The Cuntmuffins play an average of 16 home games per 45 game season. Cuntmuffins fans can find wide-ranging coverage of Cuntmuffins games published daily in the Harmony Ideas, one of the prominent local newspapers.

The club's revenue of 708,500μ/AU is one of the leading revenue figures of the NSBL, shadowing the league with market size taken into account. The Cuntmuffins demand a slightly higher rate for broadcast rights compared to similar NSBL teams. Revenue is, to a lesser extent, driven by merchandise and other minor income sources.

The team's mascot is Hostess the Cuntmuffin.